Muslim funeral traditions: what to expect and what to say

The first hours

When someone dies, the family calls the imam or the local mosque, which helps with everything. The body is washed according to religious rules, the ghusl, by trained members of the community or the family, men for men and women for women. It is then wrapped in simple white cloth, the kafan. Embalming is avoided unless the law requires it, and there is no cremation. Many American cities have Muslim funeral homes, and most mosques can recommend one.

The Janazah prayer

The funeral prayer, Salat al-Janazah, is said for the person who died, usually in the courtyard or hall of a mosque, sometimes at the cemetery. It is short, said standing, without bowing or prostrating. Anyone may attend, and non-Muslims can stand quietly at the back.

Then the body is carried to the cemetery and buried, often in the shroud alone where the cemetery allows, lying on the right side and facing Mecca. Those present may help fill the grave with a few handfuls of earth. In many communities only men go to the burial, while in others women attend as well. Follow what the family does.

What to wear and how to behave

• Modest, loose clothes in dark or muted colors, with arms and legs covered.
• Women cover their hair in the mosque. Bring a scarf.
• Shoes come off before entering the prayer hall.
• Men and women often sit or stand apart. Follow the people around you.
• Do not offer to shake hands with someone of the other sex unless they offer first.
• Keep your phone off and take no photos.

Flowers, food and gifts

Flowers and wreaths are usually not part of a Muslim funeral. More fitting is a donation to a charity in the name of the person who died, called sadaqah, or food for the family. Neighbors and friends traditionally bring meals for the first three days, so the family does not have to cook.

Mourning

The family receives visitors at home for three days. A widow traditionally observes a longer period of mourning, the iddah, of four months and ten days. Many families also gather to pray on the seventh day and the fortieth day, and on the anniversary, although customs differ from country to country. Graves are visited, especially before the Eid holidays, and visitors recite the opening chapter of the Qur'an, the Fatiha, for the dead.

What to say

When Muslims hear of a death they say Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un, "We belong to God, and to Him we return." To the family you can say:

If you are not Muslim, a simple "I am so sorry for your loss" is perfect. What matters is that you came.

Bosnian customs

Bosnian Muslim families, many of whom live in the US, Germany, Austria and Sweden, have their own words for the same customs. The funeral is the dženaza, the washing the gasul, the shroud the ćefini. Before the burial the imam asks those present whether they forgive the person who died, and they answer that they do. A gathering of prayer for the soul, the tevhid, is held on the day of the funeral, on the seventh and fortieth day, in some regions on the fifty-second, and on the anniversary. The usual words of comfort are Allah rahmetile, may God have mercy on him or her, and the answer is Amin. The gravestone, the nišan, is placed once the earth has settled.

A memorial page for a Muslim family

On a Voljeni memorial page a Muslim family sees no candles. Instead there is the Fatiha: whoever recites it presses a button, and the family sees how many people recited the Fatiha for their loved one. Messages, photos and the details of the dženaza or the tevhid can be there too, for family near and far. Here is an example of a memorial page.