In short
- In Serbian, Bosnian and Montenegrin say Iskreno saučešće, in Croatian Iskrena sućut. Both mean sincere condolences.
- Serbs often add Bog da mu dušu prosti, Croatian Catholics Počivao u miru, Bosnian Muslims Allah rahmetile.
- A short text message is fine, in the language or in English. What matters is that you wrote.
In this article
The one phrase to remember
If you remember only one thing, remember this. It works everywhere, with every faith:
- Serbian, Bosnian, Montenegrin: Iskreno saučešće. Said ISK-re-no sa-OO-che-shche. It means sincere condolences.
- Croatian: Iskrena sućut. Said ISK-re-na SOO-choot. It means the same.
Shake hands or hug, say the phrase, and that is enough. Nobody expects more.
Other common phrases
- Primite moje saučešće (Serbian, Bosnian) or Primite moju sućut (Croatian): please accept my condolences. A little more formal.
- Žao mi je: I am sorry. Said ZHA-o mi ye. Simple and warm.
- Mislim na tebe: I am thinking of you.
- Tu sam ako ti nešto treba: I am here if you need anything.
Phrases by faith
Serbian Orthodox
Bog da mu dušu prosti (for a man) or Bog da joj dušu prosti (for a woman): may God forgive his or her soul. This is what you hear most at Serbian funerals and memorials. The family often answers Bog da prosti. When you are offered koljivo, the sweet wheat, at a memorial, you say Bog da prosti as you take a spoonful.
Catholic, mostly Croatian
Počivao u miru (for a man) or Počivala u miru (for a woman): rest in peace. In writing you will often see Pokoj vječni, eternal rest.
Muslim, mostly Bosnian
Allah rahmetile, said a-LAH rah-MEH-tee-leh: may God have mercy on him or her. The answer is Amin. If you are not Muslim, saying Iskreno saučešće is perfectly fine and will be appreciated.
Short messages you can send
A text message on WhatsApp or Viber is normal and welcome, especially from far away. Here are messages in the language, with the meaning below:
Iskreno saučešće. Mislim na tebe i tvoju porodicu.
Sincere condolences. I am thinking of you and your family. (Serbian, Bosnian)
Iskrena sućut. Mislim na tebe i tvoju obitelj.
The same in Croatian.
Žao mi je zbog tvoje mame. Ako ti nešto treba, tu sam.
I am sorry about your mother. If you need anything, I am here.
Žao mi je zbog tvog oca. Bio je dobar čovek.
I am sorry about your father. He was a good man. (Croatian and Bosnian: čovjek)
You can also simply write in English. What matters is that you wrote. For more messages in English, see What to write in a sympathy card.
What not to say
The same things that hurt in English hurt in every language: He is in a better place, At least he did not suffer, I know how you feel. Keep it short and honest.
At the funeral
At a Serbian funeral people wear dark clothes and bring flowers or a candle. At a Croatian funeral, flowers and candles in glass lanterns. At a Bosnian Muslim funeral there are no flowers, and men and women may stand apart. More in our guides to Serbian funeral traditions, Catholic funeral traditions and Muslim funeral traditions.
If you cannot be there, many families now share a memorial page. On it you can leave a message in any language, or a voice message, and light a candle, and the family sees who thought of them. Here is an example.
Frequently asked questions
How do you say condolences in Serbian?
Iskreno saučešće, said ISK-re-no sa-OO-che-shche. It means sincere condolences and works in Serbia, Bosnia and Herzegovina and Montenegro.
How do you say condolences in Croatian?
Iskrena sućut, said ISK-re-na SOO-choot. It means sincere condolences.
What do Serbs say when someone dies?
Bog da mu dušu prosti, may God forgive his soul, or Bog da joj dušu prosti for a woman. The answer is Bog da prosti.
What do Bosnian Muslims say when someone dies?
Allah rahmetile, may God have mercy on him or her. The answer is Amin.
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